Full of Tilt

So in April of this year I joined a Golf League with coworkers. We meet most Mondays and play nine holes against other departments at courses in the Dallas/Fort Worth area. It's pretty fun and I get to work on my golf game. Problem is, I play with the most annoying person on the planet! This guy inspired me to come up with a list of the 50 most annoying types of people. Unfortunately, once I got to the 5th most annoying person I realized I could write a full length novel describing this list and it could take months. I just don't have the time or energy for that. I will, however, share my experience with one person who has annoyed me recently. I'll get to the most annoying person on the planet in a future blog.

It's been awhile since I've played poker, but the last time I did this extremely annoying woman sat next to me. I have to set this up a bit. When I play poker it's normally at a bar in a free poker league. Gambling is illegal in Texas. Anyways, the real Texas poker players drive to Oklahoma and play at the Casinos. The beginners, trailer trash, and myself play for free at bars in the Dallas Fort Worth area. When I say trailer trash, I mean trailer trash as seen on Jerry Springer. There is this one couple; the husband is in his 70's, the wife is in her late 30's and SHE is the one with the missing front teeth! No Joke. I will talk about missing teeth in a future blog. At these free games we're not sitting at the big poker tables you see on TV. We sit at small octagon shaped poker table tops that sit on top of a regular table. The table tops barely seat 8 people so it gets tight. So the last time I played this lady sits next to me and she has the following annoying qualities:

1. She's huge! I have nothing against large people, but I do have something against large people sitting next to me at a small poker table where their nasty legs are rubbing up against my sexy legs for three straight hours during a poker tournament. 'Please shave!'

2. She is still wearing her work clothes. Not the full garb, just the apron. 'We don't care that you work at the waffle house. You can take the apron off and leave it in the car.'

3. She eating and drinking at the table. This is not a big deal at a large regular sized casino table or with a small table next to the poker table where you can sit you food on. But she has her food on the small table we are playing on. What makes it worse is we take turns dealing so when it's her turn to deal she has to move her iced tea and chicken quesadillas in front of me so she has room to deal the cards. 'Next time order a pizza so we can share.'

4. She's wearing a big black burqa. I have no problem with any ones religious views, but damn! It's 100 degrees out and you're wearing cloak. A black cloak. 'You're making ME hot! Can't you wear one of those summer burqa's? Plus you're sweating all over the place.'

5. Worst of all. She can't play poker. 'K 10 offsuit is not a good enough hand to call a reraised pot with preflop.'

Of course, I outlasted this girl in the tournament and almost made it 'in the money', but I was definitely on tilt while she was still in. Annoying!!